September / October 1988
First, a 'murmur' in the 'ear' of the 'editer,' or proof 'reeder', or whomever, and a loud proclamation to all readers that the title, and spelling of same, was nothing whatsoever to do with me! This was either Franglais or perhaps journalese, or a plain gosh, gee, sorry folks kinda mistake. The kind one can surely forgive.
Second, kind readers, my thanks for the generous and friendly reception of my first murmurs ( or mutterings) from Monaco. May they improve with practice!
July's sunshine was welcomed after the storms of June, which deposited rain on the Riviera instead of on the dried up mid-western states of America; but August is always hot and humid, and the sea verges on tepid, and many Monaco residents leave for the hills. The tourists seem to love it, wallowing in the ocean in shades of pink and brown and bare. The silver and gold beach accessories are still around, but flowing scarves and flowers and sequined T-shirts flirt with micro minis for attention.
Summer found Monte Carlo full of celebrities, here for the Country Club's tennis and golf championships. Some stayed for the Monaco-USA's July 4th party at the Yacht Club and many more arrived for the grand opening of the new Café de Paris, truly magnificent with striking patterns of yellow and blue Italian tiles decorating the outside and a very pretty little green bronze-domed comer decoration.
If you missed the opening, it is well worth a visit. The setting is superb, the decor exquisite, and the food always good. I can personally vouch for the chocolate mousse (as a dedicated world-wide connoisseur).
A truly typical Monte Carlo resident, here today and off to other jetset hideaways tomorrow, told me that he likes to "be seen" having coffee, or drinking an aperitif, at the Café de Paris when he first arrives back in town, so that his friends will know he is back and available on the party circuit. This of course, does not take place before eleven o'clock in the morning; after all, one must get some sleep when one spends the night at Jimmy'z (a scintillating night club where one can dance until dawn).
For those who seriously search for stars and go gaga for glitter and glamour, the Gala de la Croix Rouge at the Sporting Club is a must. Andre Levasseur's decor is world famous, and the gowns and baubles and beauties enrich the pages of the society magazines for months. Peppino di Capri, Sammy Davis Jr. and Whitney Houston were highlights at the Salle des Etoiles this summer and Rostropovich appeared with the Monte Carlo Symphony Orchestra, whose summer concerts in the palace courtyard are magical. For the other kind of stargazers, for the children and tourists and plebs ... international firework specialists from all over the world sent thousands of fireworks aloft in the 23rd International Festival of Fireworks.
Monaco seems to have an edge on international festivals of film things ... circuses, fireworks ... and backgammon. Not quite the glamour of Wimbledon, perhaps; but just as there are some of us who really enjoy opera and whose highlight of the year was a kiss on the hand by Pavorotti when he came to Monaco in March ... there must be some truly dedicated backgammoners whose highpoint of the year is the international festival in Monte Carlo.
It's not dull and boring here, you know. From backgammon to rugby, from cricket to fireworks, from Shakespeare to stars to circuses ... Monaco's the place. We even have a Texas restaurant with friendly proprietors all the way from Dallas, and cheap and cheerful pizza places ... and Tuesday night is free for ladies at the discotheque opposite Larvotto beach.
However, if ferrets are the craze in America then elegant plastic bags must become de rigeur in Monaco. One of the most luxurious apartment buildings in town has recently issued new house rules. Not only must one's servants always use the back entrance, but woe betide anyone entering the portals bearing an ordinary looking plastic bag (supermarkets please take note ... you could do a great business in gold take-away bags here). One humble visitor, bearing a plastic bag of books for a resident (even in Monaco there are avid readers amongst us who pass around paperbacks!) was refused admittance by the concierge ... because he carried A WHITE PLASTIC BAG! His friend, duly telephoned, came downstairs bearing a dignified tres chic, Gucci plastic bag, carefully transferred the contents, and peace was restored.
Residents of another seafront building went into shock recently after receiving notice of 25 to 30% rent increases. Apparently, once you have paid the millions to buy an apartment here, there is no restriction on the rent you can charge. Apartments with a prime location are hard to find and when a tenant leaves, the lucky tenant-to-be pays extortionate rates for the "fixtures and fittings" .. the old "key money syndrome"!
Why on earth does anyone live here, who does not need huge tax-free benefits, you may ask. Well, there are some who work here and there are many others who find it a safe and tranquil haven from the crime and harassment of many cities. The quality of life in Monaco attracts many successful businessmen who have spent years of their lives in the cut-throat, frantic, pressured turmoil of the big city. They want a place where they can live in peace, but not in isolation. Monaco's location, with all of Europe a day's drive away, is ideal. Travel is easy when you have a Mercedes and a credit card and a 24-hour concierge who will take care of the place while you're away.
And, in Monaco, they really do know how to do things in style. A favourite daughter of a local family was married at the end of June. Now, if money was no object, and you lived in Monaco, not in a stately home which would accommodate 1,000 guests, wouldn't you hire the Sporting Club, bring in a top name band, fill the place with flowers, invite every rich and famous person you knew, then send up the searchlights and the coloured lasers to dazzle the night sky, fire a thousand white and gold fireworks ... and dance until dawn? Well, I would. But how did they persuade Yanick Noah to be the best man?! Aah ... who could ever begrudge a girl a wedding like that.
According to a little yellow slip which appeared in my mailbox, there is a Marabout-Voyant abroad in Monaco and probably outlying areas, who resolves all your difficult problems. He claims to be a great African sorcerer who stupefies the world! He specializes in provoking sexual fascination and crazy success in love; he makes your husband or wife appear ... or reappear in record time! He makes you fat or thin, as you please, brings luck, and has a secret potion for impotence. I mean what else is there that we need ...
Sorry, must go, just rushing to call ...
